From Flying

Being a trendy jet-setting college student to the exotic Tennessee for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and summer vacations has made me all-too familiar with airports [the most dreaded of which is, without a doubt, Chicago O'Hare, while Minneapolis has a delightfully larger-than life moose statue].  So, I was kind of dreading flying home in November just because it's all such a hassle, even though, I know, I know, it's also incredibly miraculous that you're in a chair, IN THE SKY. 

From my most recent jaunt:

Flying home and then back again to Arizona, I was stopped both times at security, "randomly," so they could swab my hands for drugs.  Really?? Do I actually look that threatening?  And would I really just be double-fisting illegal substances right before walking onto an airplane? Or perhaps, I'm so cute that my innocence is compromised by my beauty. 

Also both times, I was smack in the middle seat between two guys who seemed to be my age.  What are the chances?  Sharing those armrests was about as much physical contact as I've had with the male sort in, oh, about 3 months. Saucy. 

1st Flight: 
Guy On The Left: was sporting a Blues Clues paw print-inspired dangling earring and though he looked to be about 19 or 20, and surprised me when he pulled a stuffed beaver out of his backpack to nap with. 
Guy On The Right: good looking, watched "V for Vendetta" on his ipad mini, had a girl as his lock screen

2nd Flight: 
Guy On The Left: SO HANDSOME and manly and well-dressed, watched "Royal Tenenbaums" on his ipad the whole time; I was dying about whether or not to bring up Wes Anderson with him so he would know that I, too, knew about quirky indie movies
Guy On The Right: glasses, played Temple Run most of the flight, kind of boring

Airplane seating is really such a gamble (or, in the case of 2nd Flight, Left Side: the lottery) as you anticipate who you'll be sharing your personal bubble with for the next three hours.  Maybe they'll pass you a drink, maybe they'll lop over into your allotted seating area, maybe they'll snore.  OR MAYBE they'll look up really hot girls on Facebook and write them kind of creepy messages about how they noticed she was "creative" and "Christian", which he is as well, and so he would like to meet her.  All the while, you'll be reading along out of your peripherals until your eyes hurt and you are officially skeezed out.  

Also, if there's any doubt that Apple's taking over the world, just walk through an airport. Or fly on a plane.  Nowhere else will you see so many people pretending to be otherwise occupied on their devices, whether out of actual popularity, pretended popularity, or just a means of distraction.  Nice work, Steve.