I've been thinking....
...about thinking.
About the liberation of free, unstructured thought. Not decision-making or problem-solving thinking, really, but just thinking willy-nilly.
Perhaps it's because when I'm at work, my hands are busy cutting, chopping, slicing, scooping, frosting, and glazing; though they are occupied, my mind is not. So it's usually during those afternoon hours that I do some of my best thinking. There's no agenda, just the freedom to let my thoughts play hopscotch.
Sometimes I think about why the movie Titanic is so tragic (because it's a modern-day example of impossible amour courtois delineated not only by social status but also, well, death) and if it really would have been such a quintessential love story had LDC survived and gone on with Rose to have noisy kids and pay taxes.
Or maybe I'll think about how that morning Chef brewed a strong batch of coffee for his next class' tiramisu. The smell of the coffee was so rich and comforting and like a bookstore that I saved it and then pulled it out later at work to think about for a while.
And just yesterday I had quite the animated one-way discussion with myself about what femininity means to me as I attempted to dissect whether or not I should have been offended when someone told me not to lift something heavy because I was (am) a girl.
David Sedaris talks about this, mentioning offhandedly how sometimes he intends to set aside a particular thought to think about later. In his new book, he explains how while talking with a reader at a book signing, the conversation turned to corrective eye surgery. "'I hear that you have to remain conscious during the procedure,' he told me, 'and that when the laser hits its target, you can actually smell your own eyeball sizzling.' I thought about this for days."
OR
"Someone opened the door to greet us, and it took me a moment to realize it was Francine. Obscuring her face were two clear plastic bags filled with water. Both were suspended by strings, just kind of sagging there...I, of course, asked about them, and she said they were for keeping the flies away...I planned to think about the plastic bags of water for the remainder of the evening, but other stuff kept getting in the way."
But some of my most poignant thinkings are when I review specific memories. Last week I stumbled upon some mix CD's I'd made in high school, which prompted me to set aside at least an hour one day to think about being 17 and going to Governor's School. Or whenever I hear "Africa," I relive our family spring break trips up in Midway in my mind. I once read something about a woman who would store her treasured memories away in a place where she didn't access them daily, but every now and then she would carefully select one to examine as if it were a swatch of fine embroidered fabric, carefully fingering every valuable little detail.
I guess I've just noticed that, especially at home,whenever my hands are occupied and my mind is not, whether that's brushing my teeth or emptying the dishwasher, my first impulse is to grab my phone and turn on Netflix. But I have to remind myself that it's okay to be alone with only my thoughts. And then the more I think, the more thoughts I have.
Just a thought.
About the liberation of free, unstructured thought. Not decision-making or problem-solving thinking, really, but just thinking willy-nilly.
Perhaps it's because when I'm at work, my hands are busy cutting, chopping, slicing, scooping, frosting, and glazing; though they are occupied, my mind is not. So it's usually during those afternoon hours that I do some of my best thinking. There's no agenda, just the freedom to let my thoughts play hopscotch.
Sometimes I think about why the movie Titanic is so tragic (because it's a modern-day example of impossible amour courtois delineated not only by social status but also, well, death) and if it really would have been such a quintessential love story had LDC survived and gone on with Rose to have noisy kids and pay taxes.
Or maybe I'll think about how that morning Chef brewed a strong batch of coffee for his next class' tiramisu. The smell of the coffee was so rich and comforting and like a bookstore that I saved it and then pulled it out later at work to think about for a while.
And just yesterday I had quite the animated one-way discussion with myself about what femininity means to me as I attempted to dissect whether or not I should have been offended when someone told me not to lift something heavy because I was (am) a girl.
David Sedaris talks about this, mentioning offhandedly how sometimes he intends to set aside a particular thought to think about later. In his new book, he explains how while talking with a reader at a book signing, the conversation turned to corrective eye surgery. "'I hear that you have to remain conscious during the procedure,' he told me, 'and that when the laser hits its target, you can actually smell your own eyeball sizzling.' I thought about this for days."
OR
"Someone opened the door to greet us, and it took me a moment to realize it was Francine. Obscuring her face were two clear plastic bags filled with water. Both were suspended by strings, just kind of sagging there...I, of course, asked about them, and she said they were for keeping the flies away...I planned to think about the plastic bags of water for the remainder of the evening, but other stuff kept getting in the way."
But some of my most poignant thinkings are when I review specific memories. Last week I stumbled upon some mix CD's I'd made in high school, which prompted me to set aside at least an hour one day to think about being 17 and going to Governor's School. Or whenever I hear "Africa," I relive our family spring break trips up in Midway in my mind. I once read something about a woman who would store her treasured memories away in a place where she didn't access them daily, but every now and then she would carefully select one to examine as if it were a swatch of fine embroidered fabric, carefully fingering every valuable little detail.
I guess I've just noticed that, especially at home,whenever my hands are occupied and my mind is not, whether that's brushing my teeth or emptying the dishwasher, my first impulse is to grab my phone and turn on Netflix. But I have to remind myself that it's okay to be alone with only my thoughts. And then the more I think, the more thoughts I have.
Just a thought.
You have always had deep and profound thoughts. I like to hear about what you are thinking :)
ReplyDeleteI do that, mostly at night. These past couple of nights while Brandon is in the ER and I have to sleep alone, I pick a happy memory to think about so the thoughts of serial killers stay out. I think about our wedding day a lot, it's my favorite.
ReplyDelete