Round 3

Because, unfortunately, there's always more where this comes from.  For any Curious Georges out there, yes, dating continues to be the bane of my existence, thxxx for asking.  And no, I did not go out with any of these people.  Proceed with an over-inflated sense of relief that most of you don't have to deal with the dregs of these dudes from the dismal dwindling dating pool that is reality.

Great way to start things off, by warning me how boring you are. Now I'm really intrigued.   

Duuude, chill out.  Let's scale back on all this fun havery, shall we?  

HOW DARE YOU

Newsflash: utilizing unnecessary commas, doesn't make you sound smarter.  

Just spreading the truth. 

 He literally never said anything else to me. 

Somehow, I gotta say this isn't quite the compliment you think it is. 

Um, hey, Stream of Consciousness Man.  Yes, I can hula hoop.  Please tell me more about this island-lake-island? 

Thanks, but no thanks.  I have enough already. 

100% we are strangers and you don't know me from any where're 

So basically you just wrote 16 lines about something you don't want people to think you think about women.  (Was that really necessary??)

FYI: your ego and pretentiousness are so off-putting, don't flatter yourself to think I would ever be "depressed" by your lack of a reply.  Also: he messaged me first and I didn't feel the need to respond. 

Ugh. Gag.  

"Too busy being absorbed in all those feminine energies to read your profile!  

Braking the rules by even talking to you but lemme know if you want to go out!"

Nah.  

His cat is listed as #2 in importance twice in a row.  Can't do it. 

1. Don't call me "my dear." My dad does that. 

2. You are older than my dad. 

OR: perhaps you could just not be a weirdo and send people strange messages at all?

Uh...cool? 

Oh, phew.  Finally! So grateful a man finally noticed I have good hands on makeup.  

That is, in fact, why I wear it.  

Props on the puns.  8/10. 

Don't call me "yummy." 

"Let's just pretend I'm witty and clever, even though I'm not, and then we'll talk about things that interest me."

I know.  Thank yer for acknowledging that. 

How could I possibly pass that up?

Oh, like this. 

Ah, yes.  Woo me with an archaic reference to male caveman-like domination over women.  

You need to get away RIGHT NOW. 

What???

I'm sorry....what???

And now, as a reward for getting this far, yes: this was an actual ice breaker someone sent me.  

BRB, joining a convent.