LASTS

Last summer in Arizona.

Last monsoon season.

Last museum visit.

Last time flying into Phoenix after a trip and knowing I am home.

Last time checking out books from the library.

Last time making a cake in my kitchen.

Last Sunday in my ward, driving home from church on the scenic roads behind Camelback Mountain while listening to my theme song for the year.

Last time sleeping in my bed.

Last administrative staff meeting.

Last grocery trip to the Fry's on 44th Street.

Last day of work.

Last time driving away from my apartment.

Moving away from Phoenix and across the country on my own is probably the biggest and scariest thing I've ever done.  Even more so than skydiving.  And going to the gynecologist.  And moving across the country by myself the first two times I did it.

I've lived in Phoenix longer than anywhere else since my family moved from San Antonio when I was 14.  But this time it feels more personal.  I'm more proprietary over Arizona because I moved here on my own, I went to school, I got a couple of jobs, and I established my own social network here.

And now I'm voluntarily leaving behind the friends and co-workers and cute boys and all the security of Phoenix's familiarity for a big dangerous city whose climate is the extreme opposite of what I'm used to. Like, do I even have snow boots??

BUT.  Even though I'm feeling bogged down by the sentimentality of all of these Lasts, I know they have to happen in order to make room for the Firsts.

First time living in a big city on my own.

First time going to grad school.

First time living by myself.

First time eating authentic deep-dish pizza.

First time experiencing Chicago outside the hellscape of the O'Hare Airport.

First time taking a leap this big and knowing it won't kill me.